Have you ever heard the expression, "You didn't know what you didn't know"? I beleive this simple phrase is an example of what it means to be ambushed by your limited belief system. To not know what you know is evident of a self-defeating belief system that keeps you from realizing your full potential.

Have you ever wondered how some people who are faced with a dire tragedy can rise above their situation and move beyond the moment with great courage and fortitude? Much of it has to do with how they view life. They see life for what it is; they hold no illusions about life. They live life as it is presented to them. Rather than meeting obstacles as dead ends, they see them as challenges to be conquered.

People can become paralyzed by their thinking. Anyone who works with me in a coaching capacity will quickly learn that their thinking accelerates their feelings, which become the guiding force of their actions. If you believe you can't do something, your belief will most likely come true. Why? Because self- doubt leads to negative feelings; negative feelings lead to self-defeating behaviors. And the more four- letter adjectives one can add to their thinking; the hotter their feelings and the more intense their negative behavior. Negative beliefs about one's self never lead to self-motivation.

Creating a meaningful outcome from a tragic event takes belief in the fact that "I am enough and I am where I'm suppose to be at this moment. I have choices." It is about holding a belief that "I can make my outcome meaningful and productive." It is about looking within for answers; it is about having faith in self, others, and a higher power. It is about living life spontaneously; it is allowing for vulnerability. It is risking the possibility of making a mistake and learning from it rather than isolating yourself from the world because of it.

A limited belief system begins with reflexive thinking, also known as habitual thinking. It is self- defeating thinking that limits possibilities in your life. Examples of reflexive thinking might be: All-or- Nothing thinking (putting everything in black and white categories, not allowing for the gray in your life); Over-generalization thinking (viewing every challenging event as a never-ending pattern of defeat); Doom and Gloom thinking (seeing everything from a pessimistic point of view, the "glass half- empty" view of the world); Catastrophizing thinking (drawing exaggerated conclusions about the future, making a mountain out of a molehill); Mind Reading thinking (making assumptions of another person's thoughts or feelings without obtaining direct information from the person); Shoulding or Must thinking (belief that you have no choice in the matter, it is about making it a moral imperative for yourself and others); Predictable thinking (predicting your future based on the basis of your present or previous situation); Emotional Reasoning thinking (believing your emotional experiences are the end-all and governing force of your future experiences; if you feel hopeless, you might conclude your future is hopeless and will never get any better); Labeling thinking (categorizing yourself or others with a label such as "I'm a total screw-up, I can never get anything right!").

To create a restructuring of your limited belief system (habitual thinking), it is important to be aware of the details of your thinking. Ask yourself if your thinking is helping you behave more adaptively? Is your thinking helping you to interact more successfully with others? Ask yourself what kind of distorted thinking category you use most often? All- or-nothing thinking? Shoulding thinking? Doom and Gloom thinking?

Ask yourself, "Is my thinking consistent with evidence?" In other words, is there supporting evidence that suggests your thinking is accurate? If there is, ask yourself, "What choices do I have to deal with this limiting belief about myself?" What would you say to your best friend who believed in a similar manner? Would you be generous in your support of your friend? Would you offer him or her some empowering suggestions to deal with his or her limited beliefs?