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Greetings,
You
would think with daylight savings I would
have sprung ahead, but I'm a little behind
the times with this newsletter.
With the basketball season over, we'll
soon be having the pleasure of watching
our granddaughter, who is a sophomore
in high school, play Lacrosse. She's every
bit of an athlete as her younger brother;
she plays her game well.
We ask you to keep our grandson in your
prayers as he continues to battle an illness
that remains a mystery to the doctors.
He recently broke his arm in a scrimmage
game of basketball; but his energy levels
continue to plague him, along with other
physical ailments. He's been strong through
it all, but he's no fan of hospitals.
What teenager would be, right?
As I continue to evolve in my coaching
business, I will be more focused on my
work with business professionals in the
near future. While I will continue to
offer my general coaching services as
I have been, it has become apparent that
my business skills lend themselves nicely
to coaching business professionals in
a unique way. More on that in the months
to come.
My book is finished, the copyright has
been applied for, and I'll soon be publishing
it online. Stay tuned for the unveiling.
It is a very unusual manual for couples
when we think of self-help books. I'm
counting on it having an interesting appeal
to many people.
I hope your spring has begun on a cheerful
note and good things are happening for
you. Life always offers us a challenge
along the way; it is the way in which
we meet the challenge that makes the difference
in our lives. We can never go around a
challenge; we can only go through it.
Be well and tell someone
you love them, today!
Always sending you my best,
Ron
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Today's Issue Contains: |
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- Sitting In The Middle of Your
Thoughts And Finding a Nugget
of Life's Purpose!
- Profiling The Specifics of
Your Personality that Enhance
Your Ability to Be Successful!
- Couple's Communication Skills
Test
- Developing Leadership Around
You and Within You!
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Sitting In The Middle of Your Thoughts
And Finding a Nugget of Life's Purpose!... |
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Do you start your day with a rush?
Do you bound out of bed, groom,
dress, and head off to work and
begin your day? Or do you take precious
time to think about where you’re
going that day? What you’ll
be doing? Who you will be spending
time with? Do you even spend enough
time to see the blessings or miracles
that happen within your day? Are
you living your life consciously
or are you going through life unaware?
We live in such a busy
world these days that it seems impossible
to think one would take the time
and reflect on the day ahead. It
can seem a drain even to reflect
on our day as we bring it to an
end. If we don’t take the
time to sit in the middle of our
thoughts, we will most likely miss
a golden nugget of our life’s
purpose. And we will be more apt
to continue to take life for granted.
When I coach people, I begin our
time together by asking them how
their week went. Reflecting back
on what went on during the week
often brings clarity to what otherwise
was just previously experienced
as just another event. As we rethink
the events, there is often an "aha"
moment that connects the experience
with something much more centered
and deeper within ourselves. Considering
the reasons why we chose to do something,
what steps we took to resolve the
challenge, and reflecting on the
outcome as a good one or whether
it left something to be desired
is a powerful way of deepening our
life experiences.
Each day I begin by centering myself.
Some days I do a better job than
others, but nonetheless, I begin
by meditating and centering myself
in prayer. I have not always done
that in the past. And even now,
there are days that life starts
too quickly that I can’t do
it in the beginning of the day,
but on those days I take time in
the middle of the day for a short
moment to collect my thoughts and
offer a centering prayer. While
in the moment of reflective meditation,
I look back on my blessings of the
previous day, see the challenges
of the day ahead, and ask for guidance
for being present to those who will
come into my life on that day. When
things become too much of a challenge,
I reflect on how it could have been
different. I also call on the assistance
of other colleagues, friends, as
well as my wife, to help give me
perspective and guidance.
Spending time with my clients is
also a moment for me to reflect
on my own values, my own life goals,
and my personal interaction with
life around me. My clients give
me an opportunity to gain insight
into my own life as they share theirs
with me. My life experiences become
more valuable when I’m challenged
in my reflection to change course
or redirect my thinking or actions.
Begin your day by setting aside
time to reflect on what lies ahead;
remove yourself from distractions
and interruptions to fully appreciate
the benefit of sitting in the middle
of your thoughts and finding the
purpose of your experiences. End
your day journaling the events of
the day and find the miracle within
your experiences. Stop and be honest
with yourself about what will help
make you grow as a person.
Apply new revelations to your daily
process. Add value to your life
purposely; connect with your partner
in a more meaningful way; use other
associates in your life to share
your thoughts along the road you’re
traveling; lift people in your life
to a higher level; do something
that brings you better health; experience
new meaning in your spirituality,
consciously connect with God; embrace
the challenges of your day as moments
to be cherished as nuggets of purpose;
celebrate your successes; reflect
upon the impressions you’ve
left with people during the day
and learn from the experience.
When your day comes to an end,
ask yourself: Have I loved someone
today? Have I shown my love with
gratitude? Have I taken action for
those things I am responsible for?
Have I been grateful for all that
has been given me today? Have I
thanked my creator for the miracles
of the day and the lessons derived
from them? Can I close my eyes thankful
for all that has been given to me,
even the challenges that came my
way?
Sitting in the middle of your thoughts
and reflecting more deeply on your
life’s purpose and experiencing
your life in a more visceral way
will bring to your awareness the
nuggets of your deeper self you
have not yet considered.
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Profiling The Specifics of Your Personality
that Enhance Your Ability to Be Successful!. |
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Have you ever wondered why others
with your similar talents seem to
be more successful? Have you ever
questioned how others can create more
out of their day with similar circumstances
in their lives as you have? Do you
find yourself getting flustered or
feeling conflicted when communicating
your thoughts and feelings? Have you
ever wondered why some people are
strong-willed, action oriented, and
interested in getting immediate results,
while you may seem more inclined to
work behind the scenes, performing
in more consistent and predictable
ways? Or are you the type that likes
to share ideas, energize and entertain
others, yet you're a stickler for
quality and like planning ahead? Do
you believe you are a combination
of all these traits? Well, you are!
But one or two of these personality
traits run truer for you than do others.
As a tool for my coaching
practice, I now offer the DiSC Classic
Personality Profile that is designed
to help you know yourself more completely
so that you can improve communication,
ease frustration and conflict, and
develop better relationships between
employers and employees, team members
within a business, as well as strengthen
your overall relational and communication
skills with your significant other.
The DiSC profile is a measure of
your personal behaviors in particular
environments, showing you when your
behaviors are strengths and when
they become your liability. The
DiSC profile is primarily suited
for an increase in self-awareness
in a certain situation where you
can use the information to improve
relationships with your family members,
employees, or other peers in other
environmental situations.
In essence, the DiSC Classic profile
addresses behavioral responses based
on your individual reaction to a
particular environment. In fact,
the profile can be a great instrument
in helping you determine whether
another environment or strategy
may be more effective and assist
you in becoming more skillful in
adapting to circumstances in which
you find yourself. Ultimately, it
can assist you in becoming more
successful in creating the life
you want for yourself.
How we see ourselves in certain
situations may or may not cause
us to behave differently; the DiSC
profile scores can indicate how
intensely you might react to your
partner, your work peers, or your
boss. And as you learn more about
your own personality traits in certain
environments, you'll be better able
to understand and respond better
to the personalities of others within
the same setting.
If you are interested in knowing
how you can better use your personality
traits to further your career, develop
stronger communication skills, strengthen
your intimate relationship, create
a stronger and more cohesive management
team, improve customer service,
etc., taking the DiSC Profile can
move you closer to your goals.
Email me at Ronald_Shepard@msn.com
or give me a call at 802-479-2670
if you're interested in knowing
more about the DiSC Profile and
how you can get your very own profile.
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Couple's Communication Skills Test |
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Answer the following questions to
test your couple's communication skills.
This is meant to help you become more
aware of how you might communicate
with your partner. It will also help
you to determine how comfortable you
are with your partner in respect to
talking about serious matters. You
may or may not choose to share your
answers with your partner, use your
own discretion.
- Do
you value your partner's opinions?
- Do
you encourage your partner to
offer his/her opinion?
- Are
you comfortable offering your
own thoughts and feelings?
- Do
you value the importance of communicating
serious issues with your partner?
- Do
you believe your partner is a
good communicator?
- Do
you allow your partner to express
him or herself without getting
defensive?
- Do
you understand your partner when
s/he is sharing her/his thoughts
or feelings?
- Do
you find communicating with your
partner a huge bore?
- Are
you aware of how you communicate
with your body language, facial
expressions, hands, voice intonation,
besides the words you use?
- Do
you attempt to have a marathon
communication night where everything
under the sun MUST be discussed
or else?
- Do
you speak with purpose of do you
tend to let your brain empty its
contents out on your partner?
- Do
you use dangerous terminology
like, "You should do ..."
"You aren't listening ..."
"You don't care what I say
..." "I might as well
talk to the wall ..." or
"Hey, I'm outta here ..."
- Do
you make assumptions before you
start your discussions?
- Do
you have an agenda that your partner
doesn't know about and you "lovingly"
spring it onto him/her when you
sweetly say, "I want to talk
with you about something that's
been on my mind?"
- Do
you listen with an open mind to
what your partner is saying or
are you constantly forming a defensive
tactic to counter them?
- Are
you more interested in getting
your partner to hear what you
have to say and show little interests
in what she or he has to say?
- Are
you willing to learn better ways
to communicate with your partner?
- Are
you willing to set time aside
to practice better communication
skills with your partner?
- Will
you agree to step away from the
communication process should a
volatile situation arise and take
a specified break?
- Will
you consider obtaining the help
from a professional to learn better
communication skills should the
need be evident?
Some
Additional Considerations around
Communicating:
Do
you believe you can't find the right
words to express what you want to
say?
Do
you worry about being vulnerable
with your thoughts around your partner?
Do
you talk too much and not allow
your partner a chance to speak?
Do
you listen well to your partner
(or to others)?
Do
you tend to state your concerns
to your partner in a heated manner?
Do
you tend to use words like "You
always ..." or "You never
..." or "You should ..."
or "You must ..." when
discussing difficult matters with
your partner?
Do
you rarely state your concerns to
keep from hurting your partner?
Do
you tend to throw the past in your
partner's face when discussing serious
matters?
Do
you believe arguing reflects badly
on a relationship?
Do
you feel uncomfortable talking about
negative feelings because your believe
it makes matters worse?
Are
you better at noticing and bringing
up your partner's failures rather
than recognizing your own?
If
you find that you've answered
more nays than yeas, please consider
my services around communication
coaching.
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Developing Leadership Around You and
Within You! |
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This commentary has a dual purpose.
First, I want to talk about what it
means to be a leader of others; second,
I want to speak to what it means to
be leaders of our own lives. We can
all attest to the fact that some leaders
are great leaders, others mediocre,
while others are outside of their
league when it comes to leadership.
Yet, I believe there are far too many
people who do not recognize their
own potential of being good leaders,
if not great leaders.
Leadership
is the ability to influence, inspire,
and empower others. However, leadership
is not relegated to a certain few
nor is it a skill one is born with.
True leadership is learned through
trial and error; it is about failure
and success. Good leadership brings
about change that is positive, empowering,
and engaging; it is about exercising
self- discipline and building a
true sense of integrity that is
grounded in values. Leadership calls
for vision that is supported by
commitment, standards, while creating
an environment that is balanced
with fun.
What
does this all mean for each of us?
If we are to be good leaders, it
is important to recognize what we
value within ourselves and what
we value in others. It is a matter
of attitude about self and others.
As a good leader, it is important
to see the value in others and to
recognize and honor their potential.
It is about creating an avenue for
them to develop that potential in
a safe and supportive way. And when
we individually develop the leadership
within our own lives, it is about
being diligent, patient, and forgiving.
It is about being okay with ourselves.
Leaders
are open to ideas; leaders listen
to others and call upon the wisdom
of those they trust to be aligned
with their vision. Even with those
whose wisdom they trust, there will
be disagreement because good leaders
need people who will tell them what
they need to hear, rather than telling
them what the person believes the
leader wants to hear. As a leader
of self or others, this can be a
challenging proposition. What makes
it challenging at times are those
individuals who complain without
offering a solution; it is a matter
of being tactful, resourceful, enthusiastic,
and holding oneself to their own
accountability.
As
leaders it is about taking ownership
for our own actions or inaction.
Whether it is a matter of dealing
with something within ourselves
or with issues we have with others,
leaders are often challenged by
the fact that difficult decisions
will have to be made.
Each
of us wants to know that we are
valued; each of us responds best
to encouragement. John Maxwell says,
“Encouragement is oxygen to the
soul.” It is important to note that
valuing self and others is not about
taking people where they are; rather
it is about developing them into
their true potential. People will
allow you to lead them when they
know you personally care for them;
and you will become a better leader
of your own life when you show the
same personal care for yourself.
If you do not believe in yourself
or others, your personal and public
leadership will falter. If you believe
in and trust yourself, you will
conquer many things; if you believe
in and entrust in the capabilities
of others, they will believe in
you as a leader.
We
all must see and feel the value
in what we do. Everyone does well
when they are part of the goals,
supported by others, given guidance
through skill building, allowed
to give input, and ultimately allowed
to take personal ownership in the
process. We all build success within
ourselves and with others layered
upon the foundation of personal
values, integrity, and the belief
we can make a difference in the
world around us.
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