It is a no-brainer to know that men, women, and children have needs that are basic to our survival, such as food, shelter, water, and air. Social interactions, creativity, intimate bonding, intellectual stimuli, and spiritual awakenings are needs that simply feel good when they are met. Each of us is primarily responsible for meeting our own needs; meeting one's own needs is Personal Power.

In today's busy world, we often strive for things outside of ourselves to create meaning within. Too often, we expect others to be responsible for meeting our needs. And when those needs aren't met, we may feel let down, disappointed, or depressed. When we feel these moments of distress, we might attempt to fulfill our needs in destructive, non-nurturing ways. We may over indulge ourselves with food, shopping, gambling, work, or more destructively with alcohol, drugs, and sex, etc., overcompensating for the feelings of loss. It is in these moments of overcompensation that we lose our personal power; the object of our focus has power of over us. Unfortunately, these moments become a pattern to everyday life for so many of us. It becomes our way of survival and we learn to settle.

Yogi Berra once said, “If you don't know where you're going, you are bound to end up somewhere else.” Now, if that ain't the truth! It makes me think of the many Sunday afternoon rides my wife and I would venture forth with our children. We found ourselves on roads that were just wide enough to get our car through, grass brushing the undercarriage, and the occasional protruding rock formation that needed to be negotiated less we get stranded in the middle of who-knows-where. All the while the kids would ask with wide-eyed curiosity, “Are we lost?” With a straight face, I'd answer, “Not to worry, I know just where we are!” as I continued to drive, secretly wondering if we'd ever find civilization again. This can be an analogy of the lives of so many people, wondering if they'll ever find their true destination. As we say in Vermont, “All roads lead to somewhere.” The question remains for many of us, “Where is the road we are traveling leading us?”

Developing a more balanced life is crucial to success. In my work with people, I stress the importance of developing a balanced life that is disciplined. To be disciplined may mean giving up parts of our present behaviors to achieve the greater self. M. Scott Peck, says in his book, The Road Less Traveled, “... as we negotiate the curves and corners of our lives, we must continually give up parts of ourselves. The only alternative to this giving up is not to travel on the journey of life.” Giving up our excesses is necessary to maintaining balance. The balance I talk about is developing a more holistic approach to living. To do this we must explore our needs in the following categories: physical, social, emotional, intellectual, creative, and spiritual. When we bring each of these categories into focus and develop a discipline around each of them, we bring balance into our lives.

What are some of your physical needs? More aerobic exercise? A better diet? Less drinking or smoking? Less work and more play? Whatever the issue of your physical needs, it is important to address them to live a healthier life. Too often, we say... tomorrow, next month, next year ... Why not say, today? It can start small, such as: a walk around the block; eating smaller portions; smoking one less pack a week; coming home from work a couple hours earlier during the week, etc. Too often, we think in big terms, which can overwhelm our best intentions.

What are some of your social needs? Joining a volunteer group? Taking specific time with treasured friends? Cruising the Caribbean with family? Working on a fun community project? Joining a weekly card party or a writing club? Snowmobiling with family, friends, and neighbors? Developing a neighborhood get together? These and other types of social activities are important to living a balanced life in conjunction with our other needs. With life being so hectic, we've forgotten the importance of connecting our lives with others. A healthy mental status depends upon maintaining healthy human connections.

What are some of your intellectual needs? Working at a stimulating job that not only supports you, but feeds your natural talents? Going back to school to earn that degree you keep putting off? Learning a new trade or skill? Learning a new hobby? Writing a book? Reading those books you keep on the bookshelf? Join a singing group? Or simply, meeting with friends at a local coffee house to share in a philosophical discussion? Many of these things and others satisfy both a social and intellectual need. Without developing our intellectual needs, we become isolated in our minds. Our brains become depressed without intellectual stimulation. We don't grow in our human capacity.

What are your creative needs? Above I mentioned how one might consider developing a new hobby, write a book, explore and develop different skills you've always wanted to do, but have put on the back burner. We too often let life get in the way of our living! When we are able to create we feel engaged with life; creating is a basic human condition. When we contribute to our world, we enjoy the fruits of our labor. We feel fulfilled and purposeful when we satisfy our creative side. Become the artist that stirs within you; start a business that showcases your creative side; get those dance lessons you and your partner keep putting off; sing a new song today and every day. Live life!

What are your emotional needs? Do you need to be appreciated for what you do? Do you need a life-partner that supports and encourages you to be all you can be? Do you need to worry less about your financial needs? Do you need a live a more proactive life? Do you need to find ways of overcoming self-sabotage? Much of what I have discussed previously will create a more stable emotional balance in your life. All of us get depressed now and again, it is the more chronic states of depression that need psychotherapy. Most of us can overcome our occasional states of situational depression by balancing out our lives. It means examining the unbalanced sides of our living. Is it too many hours at work? Does it mean we don't have a social life? Are we less creative than we could be? Do we lack a balanced diet and exercise regimen? All of these and other models of healthy living sustain a healthy emotional life.

The last category of needs I address here is the disciplining of our spiritual needs. Interestingly, the word discipline comes from the word Disciple. As a Christian, I understand the word Disciple to mean those individuals that went forth to teach the words and actions of Jesus Christ. Spirituality has a much bigger connotation than religion. While our religious affiliations can enhance our spiritual lives, it is not the only way in which we can discipline our spiritual needs. In recent years, I have been in a variety of settings where individuals expressed themselves as “reformed” in respect to the religion of their upbringing. Many of us have toiled in the “desert” or “valley” questioning our faith or its relevance to our lives. Such questioning is not a bad thing, in fact, it is healthier than accepting things for face value. It deepens our own resolve in terms of our spirituality. I think of spirituality as connecting with something greater than ourselves. For me it is the creator of our universe, God. For others, it may be a connection with creation itself. For all time, humans have sought connection with an entity or entities that present a greater power than themselves. Whether it be the Gods or Goddesses of the early Greek civilization, or Buddha, Christ, or Mohamed, humankind has struggled to understand their purpose and destiny through a spiritual connection. Too many people have attempted to satisfy what is lacking in their lives by compromising their spiritual needs for more “humanistic” needs, such as having “more things.” Too often, people believe if they fill up their lives with more things, or work harder, or party every night of the week, etc. they will feed what is lacking in their lives. However, those “things” do not satisfy their natural quest to connect with something beyond and more powerful them themselves. This is difficult for so many people to understand because we have become such a consumer oriented society with a gizmo mentality that offers immediate gratification. To connect spiritually with an entity greater than ourselves takes faith; faith in its existence. For so many people, if they can't see it, touch it, or taste it ... it can't be! We know that oxygen exist in the air, but we can't see it, touch it, or taste it, yet we believe in the concept of oxygen and the importance to our lives. Without oxygen we would cease to exist; without developing a spiritual connection, we are apt to live a more chaotic, diseased, and unbalanced life. Fulfilling our spiritual needs bring all other needs into perspective. Living our spiritual lives more fully, we become more disciplined and balanced in all aspects of our lives. While we might fulfill our spiritual quest by attending a church or synagogue on a frequent basis, we might also do the same in communing with nature, connecting with the aged in a nursing home, feeding the hungry in a soup kitchen, volunteering our time and talents in a third world setting, meditating in prayer, or hiking and retreating upon a mountain exploring all the wonders of the world granted us by our creator—knowing all the while that our true source of energy comes from that which is more powerful than ourselves. Living a disciplined discipline (balanced life) may mean giving up something that controls or keeps us from growing in our authentic selves. I believe each of us has a purpose in life, yet many of us fail to find it because we are searching in all the wrong places.

In closing, I challenge each of my readers to write their own Life Mission Statement. In your personal Mission Statement, list your values, goals, and aspirations as you see as being important to living an authentically fulfilled and purposeful life. And secondly, write your own Obituary as to the legacy you wish to leave behind. Third, check both the Mission Statement and the Obituary to see if you are living the life you have designated in both of these documents. If it is, congratulations! If not, consider developing a balanced, disciplined life that reflects your values and the legacy you most desire to leave behind. May you act upon the many blessings that abound in your life.